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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, what's a sponsored tweet?"" ""A way for Twitter to make money, I guess. Now, pass the Metamucil with 100% Natural Psyllium Fiber."""

"The Naughty Schoolboy by Enid Spanking"

"What do you call an ugly Spanish chemist? Iron Oxide"

"I've invented a new form of martial arts which involves fighting over a penny. It's called Jew-Jitsu"

"Wow. Girl 1) Isn't that illegal? Girl 2) Yeah, so is prostitution but I didn't stop your mom. Girl 1) You don't know my mom. Girl 2) Neither did your dad."

"What does the study of magnetism and self abuse have in common? The Right Hand Rule."

"Latey, my aphabet has been a the pace, I bame the fact there's ""noel"""

"SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency."

"I really hope that death is a woman. That way it will never come for me."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to attempt to screw it in and the rest to bitch and complain about how its mans fault that it's so hard to do."