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Joke of the Day

"A polish joke my grandpa told me: ""What happened to the Polish dog?"" He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap"

"Wanna know how easy it is to sleep with a fat chick? Piece of cake"

"I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday It was a hare raising experience."

"I can't wait for hillary to become president and appoint bernie sanders as her vice president ""I did not have sexual relations with that man"""

"Wish someone would invent a device that would allow me to speak instead of having to text back and forth 30 times to get my point across."

"Can gorillas swim? No."

"what's the difference between Rosie O'Donnell and a stab wound? one is a fat and nasty unbearable gash,..... and the other is a fucking stab wound."

"A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend' that is ALWAYS in need is getting on my nerves."

"This Christmas buy your Hoes something nice. cause its the thot that counts"

"Wife: We're going to Jessie's BBQ today. Me: She's the one with the big--- Wife: They're fake! Me: So? -liveTweeting from the DogHouse"