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Joke of the Day

"Wish someone would invent a device that would allow me to speak instead of having to text back and forth 30 times to get my point across."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth Get out of the way your in my light!"

"If Jenny has 215 coins in one hand and 412 coins in the other,what does Jenny have? 5 days to live."

"I'm not as tweet as you drunk I am think."

"What has two legs and is bleeding all over the fucking rug? Half a dog"

"How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house? Your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway."

"Why is hockey a girls sport? Because it has periods"

"Getting a PhD is like an erection, it's long and hard.... unless you're Chinese."

"Why do lambs go to casinos? They love to gambol."

"I was sitting in calculus class, and the teacher asked us how we can ideally take the derivative of a logarithm... I said,"" I like my logarithms like my women, all natural""."