89382

Joke of the Day

"I ate one of those orange Hostess cupcakes and now I have to live in the sewers."

"Did you hear about the new Obama Healthcare Burrito? You don't find out whats in it until you pass it..."

"There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed"

"If you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating... Because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."

"Arteries have a special place in my heart"

"I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work."

"Me: I'm going shopping. Him: If you buy more than one pair of shoes I'm divorcing you. Me: Deal!"

"A dark sense of humour is like food. Not everyone has it."

"Want to hear a funny presidential joke? Donald Trump."

"Pick-up line guaranteed to work every time! Does this smell like chloroform to you??"