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Joke of the Day

"There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed"

"I like my science like I like my penises: hard."

"What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old? The water washes away her tears"

"Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff."

"Do I have any jokes about Sodium? Na"

"What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject? The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to ""tell us about yourself."""

"What do you call a 58 year old man that has sex with a 9 year old girl? The Prophet Muhammad."

"At what point does a Lamb become a Sheep? When its had it's Baaaaa-Mitzvah!"

"TIL if you type your password for all to see it gets censored. Look: 1337Penis Edit: GOD DANG IT"

"Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet? They were Putin up with him."