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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new Obama Healthcare Burrito? You don't find out whats in it until you pass it..."

"How can you tell baseball players are smarter than football players? When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?"

"A priest and a rabbi walk by a junior high school... The priest peers inside and says ""Hey. Let's go inside and screw some little boys."" The rabbi responds ""Out of what?"""

"Sunday is a great day to curl up with a good book and completely ignore it because, ya know, the Internet."

"Me: I know it hurts, but you'll learn to love again. Sheep: I don't know. I can't even look at ewe right now."

"Whenever someone well known dies, social networks turn into an online obituary. #DontActLikeYouCare, @MaleHonesty86"

"Only 2 phrases can change a woman's mood: ""I Love You"" and ""50% Off""."

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep......."

"All of these time capsules I just dug up have bodies in them?"

"I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??"