199750

Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a funny presidential joke? Donald Trump."

"You're so vein, you probably think this bloody cut is about you."

"""You know what."" -- They."

"After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to try physical comedy. She said... ""You can't pull your pants down in public."""

"I went to the fancy dress shop the other day but they couldn't help me complete my wizard costume You just can't get the staff."

"Your clothes will never forgive you... You always hang them out to dry."

"Apparently when your girlfriend asks which of her friends you would like to have a threesome with you are only supposed to say one name."

"My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible..."

"God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him."

"I got 66 problems and being upside down is 1"