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Joke of the Day

"""Will I ever live in a clean house again?"" *shakes magic 8 ball *magic 8 ball explodes and makes a mess"

"Did you know that AC/DC made the longest song ever? It lasted 12 albums"

"An identity thief... takes things personally"

"Girl: AH COO!! Man: Bless you. Girl: AH COO!! Man: Squared"

"My toddler is learning to speak so I'm trying to teach him some phrases for social success. Things like ""true dat"" and ""pass the gravy."""

"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."

"What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines"

"Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well? He should have been attending to the sick and left the well alone."

"Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread? The middle yeast"

"Why don't Asians like bowling Because it's bowring I'm sorry"