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Joke of the Day
"iOS 8 fail."
Next Joke
"I'm getting my wife a new bag and belt for our anniversary She will finally be able to vacuum again."
"So two guns are hanging out, ""shootin' the shit""... When one gun says to the other, ""Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?"" the second gun says, ""In some old magazine I found."""
"Whats the difference between a fridge and a vagina? A fridge doesn't fart when you get the meat out."
"*Breaks glass to steal Mona Lisa* You crazy? Security will hear us Security: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE? NOTHING Security: ALRIGHT"
"my roofing company has gone bankrupt. I kept saying ""this one's on the house"" every time I finished a roof, how could i be so stupid"
"When i was a kid, my father said he wanted me to be an autodidact. I asked him what that word meant. He told me to look it up. Happy Father's Day, everyone!"
"My mom told me to stop watching TV and read something. So I turned on the subtitles."
"""It's complicated"" relationship status = someone cheated but we signed a lease."
"Why do you take toilet paper to the twilight zone? DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO"