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Joke of the Day
"iOS 8 fail."
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"Why is Jewish apple cake Jewish? Because it's baked in an oven..."
"Why did the lettuce get arrested? ...for disturbing the peas!"
"What does a Mexican Morpheus say? Neo, you are the Juan ... I'll show myself the door..."
"Help! I'm 13 and want to get preggo .....but my boyfriend wants Ragu."
"[suspecting Kyle is a werewolf] ME: Ive laid out all the good silverware for us tonight K: Its chips & salsa M: Aaand? *stabs chip w/ fork*"
"UPDATE: This year's least popular Halloween candy was, as always, Reese's Feces."
"probably my biggest regret is not having gone to high school in an 80s movie."
"Never Dance Naked Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops."
"I'm off to buy a 3-D printer. Which I'll use to make another 3-D printer. Then return the first one."