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Joke of the Day

"My mom told me to stop watching TV and read something. So I turned on the subtitles."

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"What kind of meat do priests eat on Friday? (And no, the answer is NOT ""nun"".) filet mig-none"

"How to keep a girl: buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt buy her pizza touch her butt"

"[i get a phone call] ""Hi we'd like to talk to you about your tweets"" ME: Wow thank you but I don't do interviews ""This is the police"""

"I got kicked out of a store trying to buy condoms All I wanted was to use their fitting room!"

"What's the difference between a surgeon and God? God knows he's not a surgeon."

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce on its eyes? Chicken Ceasar salad."

"How do you keep a fool in suspense... I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Spoof Caller ID Call from a different number. Disguise your caller id, it's easy and works on any phone!"