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Joke of the Day

"Why was the baby put in jail? For resisting a rest. ^^^^I'll ^^^^take ^^^^my ^^^^coat"

"The only thing I have to say about Bristol Palin ""You're welcome."""

"Why did the AC wave try to hang himself? He was sinusoidal."

"[Looking at ultrasound monitor with my wife] Wife: Look at it's little heart beating! Isn't it amazing... Me: It looks like a crossiant"

"Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics? Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration. (all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)"

"Somebody get me a maple tree ... asap!"

"Want to hear my favorite joke? 729271"

"I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. Benefits were good, but the parking was terrible."

"[phone makes noise] [gets giddy about how popular I'm about to feel] Oh. It's an email about car insurance. [quietly dies a little inside]"

"Asked my girlfriend Shanon to tell me which fast food restaurant best describes my dick. She said Chick-fil-A, which was pretty clever, but the correct answer was Wendy's."