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Joke of the Day

"[phone makes noise] [gets giddy about how popular I'm about to feel] Oh. It's an email about car insurance. [quietly dies a little inside]"

"When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking."

"How do you keep your dog young for longer? [Terrible OC] Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!"

"Why was the iPhone 7 so embarrassed? He was caught jacking off."

"When life gives you lemons, wish that life had given you something to make a more original aphorism."

"Q: Why does Father Time wear bandages? A: Because day breaks and night falls."

"Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ? He had a bee in his suit of armour !"

"What do you call an origional joke on Reddit? Mine"

"Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer."

"Check this one out: 1"