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Joke of the Day
"The Edmonton Oilers"
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"""Are you even listening to me?"" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation."
"Never try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other."
"all ramen noodles come from one impossibly long noodle of disputed origins. no one knows how much is left or what will happen when it's gone"
"When someone asks if anyone has recommended Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to me Reddit already."
"What was the burglar doing at Wayne Manor? Robin."
"You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started."
"What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks."
"I always wanted to be somebody I should have been more specific."
"I tried to take on ISIS with a shotgun. Iraq'd and then Iran"