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Joke of the Day

"I tried to take on ISIS with a shotgun. Iraq'd and then Iran"

"My dad wanted me to play soccer So I kicked him in the crotch. He asked, ""Why did you do that?"" I replied,""That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right? Kick balls?"""

"Bully For You Q: Why did the bully go to beauty school? A: She wanted to tease hair"

"I went jogging one time why am I not thin?"

"Sometimes I wonder if my wife ever heard me call her a dumb bitch. I think about it every day since she died from cancer. I never got to say it to her face."

"Saturday night is for moaning My name. Sunday morning is for chanting it."

"I just met a black vegan... All I kept asking was ""so you don't eat chicken?"""

"I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere. Then suddenly I slipped in cider."

"How did Chad Kroeger lose a quarter? Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback"

"No checks (Czechs are welcome)."