89059

Joke of the Day

"Heidi Klum was waiting for a call from Donald Trump She never got it.. His phone was only 99.99% charged so he couldn't do it."

"I love dying from sneezing 11 times in a row and being defibrillated back to life with a 12th"

"The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't."

"Where do dads keep their jokes? In their dadabase."

"What do feminists and Sports Authority have in common? They've got a rivalry with Dicks"

"How many Mexicans does it take to... ...Oh shit, they're done"

"What is Hitler's favourite type of pizza? The Hollow Crust."

"What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son? James Bonding bah dun tss"

"How do you spot an attention whore on reddit? Edit: Wow, I did not expect this to get so many upvotes!"

"Why'd they call the egg a pimp? Because he got ova easy."