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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son? James Bonding bah dun tss"

"There should be a documentary about meth addiction: Need For Speed"

"What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants."

"When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead edit: woohoo #1"

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not."

"Pizza is like racism. America didn't invent it, but it's hard to find a country that does it better."

"A man speaks with his daughter. Father : Well, you fuck way better than your mother. Daughter : I know, my brothers told me!"

"The Little Mermaid (1989) The story of a girl who realizes that she should change EVERYTHING about herself to land a good man..."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan"

"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."