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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry guys Why can't Sally ride the swings? Cause she doesn't have arms. Knock, Knock, Whose there? Not Sally..."

"Reddit you say? Yeah, I redd-about-it. *rimshot* PS: Sorry for subjecting you to this horrible fucking joke."

"A baby seal walks in to a club. . . ."

"me: God? God: yes my child me: I need help- God: ask and thou shall receive me: -moving into my new apt God: me: God: me: hello?"

"I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face."

"What do a married guy and a single guy have in common? They both think the other one gets laid more."

"If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself ""Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."""

"My brother's doctor says he can no longer play video games, and he's taking it very hard He's inconsolable"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none. They would just beat the room because it was black."

"How many Jews does it take to change Hitler's mind? None, there has to be no Jews."