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Joke of the Day

"Mum Mum Dad's broken my computer! How did he do that? I dropped it on his head."

"Remember Doodle-Bob from Spongebob? So do I, guy was Sketchy as hell."

"What do you call a hired investigator who's a jerk only when he's alone? A private dick."

"What's enormous, gray, and unimportant? Irrelephant."

"Doctor, doctor... I have a cold and feel like I'm about to explode... ...well sit down and blow your nose up!"

"Boss: go to hell Me: so stay? or leave? I'm confused"

"Can February March? No. But April May. yep."

"A man is at the airport. The airline attendant asks the man, ""Do you have any baggage?"" He replies, ""I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a virgin."""

"Thinking about getting a nutritional value label tattooed on my inner thigh."

"So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her ""What width?"" She replied: ""with scissors of course."""