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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why you shouldn't wear Ukrainian underpants? Chernobyl fall out."

"My grandfather had the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo"

"Facebook has a link to ""Report a Problem"" so I wrote ""I'm not very close with my father."" Now we wait I guess"

"Q: What's the opposite of a somersault? A: A winter pepper."

"So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, ""I think not,"" then immediately disappears."

"I accidentally ate too much alphabet soup yesterday and had a huge vowel movement."

"On a scale of 10 to 10, how good am I at giving you a choice?"

"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"

"If I was an engineer, I would turn emo. My inventions would be ""Cutting Edge"""

"My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more naughty in bed But now she wants me to give her toys back."