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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the opposite of a somersault? A: A winter pepper."

"I watched the bonus features on a porn movie today. It just showed a woman crying in the shower, washing all the cum out of her hair."

"I rang a gym yesterday and asked them if they could teach me to do the splits ""How flexible are you?"" they asked ""Well I can't do Tuesday's"""

"Mom, Am I adopted? Son: Mom, Am I adopted? Mom: Nuh, you think we would have chosen you?"

"Silly Billy went in a library and said, "" I would like to have a pizza."" Librarian - "" Sir, this is a library."" Billy goes near his ear and whispers - "" I would like to have a pizza."""

"Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again."

"I just want to have a long enough career in show business so I can become eccentric and bring a goat to a meeting or some shit"

"What prophylactic did the black person rip open while having sex? The doctor's vaginer."

"What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break."

"How many people of a certain ethnicity does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the lightbulb; the other nine to act in a manner stereo-typically associated with said ethnicity."