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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, my grandfather stole my money."

"Teacher: In music if ""f"" means ""forte"" what does ""ff"" mean ? Pupil: Eighty"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cosi ! Cosi who ? Cosi has to !"

"Fishes. What does a fish say when it hits a concrete wall?"

"So I released a new cook book in the oriental side of town. It's called *101 ways to wok your dog*"

"Did you hear about the Chinese guy who moved to America and turned white? He was really disoriented."

"Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?"

"Why does Snoop Dog carry around an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."

"[Sick Humour] What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler."

"The worst thing about being in my 40's is that I can't get teenaged girls to sleep with me. It's like being a teenager again."