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Joke of the Day
"Teacher: In music if ""f"" means ""forte"" what does ""ff"" mean ? Pupil: Eighty"
Next Joke
"F*ck the zombie apocalypse, it's never going to happen. Worry about the f*cktard apocalypse, it's already upon us."
"Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team? Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole."
"This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer..."
"Waking up in the middle of the night to a 4.0 earthquake is kinda awesome until you realize it was not an earthquake & what's that smell?"
"I lost my voice so basically I'm every mans dream girl right now."
"What's blue and not heavy? ...Light blue"
"Me: ""This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones"" ""Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"""
"What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting? [OC] I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer."
"What do you a paralyzed gangster? A crip."