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Joke of the Day

"She let me ram that ass shit was so cache"

"The other day i tried to grab the fog... I mist"

"The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off."

"My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing. Apparently, ""Heating your dinner"" wasn't a good answer."

"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side."

"What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull meat out."

"flappy bird misunderstanding someone told me to get flappy bird. trying to pick up women from my local bingo hall, was not what they meant."

"Today I saw a guy driving around with upward of 10 parking tickets on his windshield. Now what were you saying about not giving a fuck?"

"50 years from now...""Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."" ""...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"""