36362

Joke of the Day

"My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing. Apparently, ""Heating your dinner"" wasn't a good answer."

"Cop to driver: ""How high are you?"" Driver to cop: ""No, no, no. You're supposed to say 'Hi, how are you?'"""

"Girl, are you a useless, obscure and unimportant punctuation mark? Because I want to interro-bang you"

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? Your mom can't fit in a bowling ball."

"I like going up to people with motorcycle helmets and asking them for Daft Punk's autograph."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pedophile? A pedophile does not get tax exemptions for raping young boys."

"I hate when films say "" 'MAY' contain nudity?"" Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME"

"I don't understand why people can't just check their kids at the airport with the rest of their baggage."

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"A guy walks in a library and sees a chunky chick in his favorite spot Guy: Hey I'm Drew, whats your name? Girl: Paige Guy: Paige huh? Well...you look like a whole fuckin book!"