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Joke of the Day

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle..."

"Just once...one time; can't we buy a tree that doesn't try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am."

"What do you call a nosey pepper? Jalapeno Business"

"Did you hear about the new emo pizza? You just make fun of it, and it cuts itself!"

"What is the most expensive type of prostitute? Whoreganic"

"The worst would you rather... This election."

"What dairy product is the most revered? Swiss cheese, after all it's the holeist!"

"I had to fire my receptionist today. There was just no connection."

"How do you fuck a fat chick? Roll her over in flour and find the wet spot"

"What was more important than the invention of the first telephone? The second telephone."