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Joke of the Day

"Thank you, iPhone predictive text, for sending my mother a message that said ""WOOOOFUCKYEAH!"" There's no joke here except I'm 30 & grounded."

"What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)? Long Gone Silver... /drops mic"

"They say time flies like the wind.. But fruit flies like bananas"

"You don't get what you WISH for, you get what you WORK for."

"Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul? Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel."

"Why was Mary Jane not a virgin? Her mother leaves."

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk guy."

"What does a racist drink to wake himself up every morning? A KKK-Cup!"

"What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome I'm sorry"

"Hey cell phone companies, I can't think of a more terrifying selling point than ""Unlimited Talk."""