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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two obese lesbians who are about to turn in for the night? Bedward ScissorHams"

"I was caught after ditching a cab without paying... I was charged with Taxi Evasion."

"My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots."

"1-buy waterbed 2-fill with wine 3-get Capri Sun straw 4-never leave your bed again"

"A blind walks into a bar He said ""Aw!"""

"Well, well, well. If it isn't that thing I told my wife I already did."

"What do you call a man with no arms? Anything you want. He is 'armless"

"Chainsaws: because ""The Texas Weed-whacker Massacre"" just wasn't scary enough"

"Guy talking to a girl Guy: I have a joke about my penis. Ah... forget get, it's too long. Girl: I have a joke about my vagina. You won't get it."

"Extra car key Extra house key Extra storage unit key Key to an extra apartment with a liquor cabinet - Keys to a successful relationship"