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Joke of the Day

"(original) I just got my flu shot and tried to draw something, but it still looks shitty. I thought it was supposed to make me artistic?"

"Today I was hit in the back of the head with a bag of ice I was knocked out cold"

"What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom? The Captain's Log."

"My friend is afraid of fruit. So I told him to grow a pear."

"Why do so many black people believe in God? Its the only father they will ever know."

"How was the red sea made? Over a very long period"

"A farmer filled his truck with onions, but he crashed on the interstate. All his onions were smushed and ruined. The farmer was on the brink of crying."

"""We should see other people"" PIGEON: coo ""It's not u it's me"" - coo ""I'm breaking up w/ u"" - coo ""I'm sleeping w/ ur brother"" - not coo"

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet? Human: we are an advanced species A: how do you travel? H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

"I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and weird. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her."