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Joke of the Day

"Why are Republicans so easy to point out? They're usually the elephant in the room"

"Lucy fell in front of the train she screamed out for help ""HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!"", so Luke came running over and cut her throat instead. Nice work Luke. You should be more like Luke."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was assaulted"

"A man told me there was a Pikachu in the back of his white van. When I jumped in, it appeared that he was mistaken."

"What do you call a person who is a bit of a jew? Jew-ish"

"I liked The Hobbit books, but Harry Potter? That's a different story..."

"I will base my art on something deeply personalfrom my childhood *childhood was full of mass-market products* *everyone had same childhood*"

"What do you call a punctuation mark that's got a girlfriend? ..accommodating."

"All my life, I never thought I'd wake up at 6am to go jogging...and I was right."

"Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window."