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Joke of the Day

"People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel."

"All my party planning skills revolve around exit strategies."

"This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'."

"Do you know why God created atheists? Haha. Good one."

"Why did the billionaire keep winning at Poker? He played his Trump card."

"What is Jackie Chan's favorite drink? WA-TAAAAH!"

"I'm Skyping your mom right now I've got both monitors up so she can fit."

"Baby seal walks into a club... ..."

"Some of the nicest women you'll meet on Twitter are men."

"What do you get when you cross a baggage handler with a sex offender? [The TSA!](http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2-l7xEQJqvdPPlN2qABza3Hpfin65EITfmXxRgqx4gj5ajg9mEdVJFhEsjg)"