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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I could never agree on holidays... I wanted to fly to exotic places and stay in luxurious five-star hotels. And she wanted to come with me."

"I think the face you make pre-sneeze is the same as when you orgasm."

"I was talking to Marcel Marceau the other day. You know what he said? Nothing he's dead"

"Birdshit Why do birds fly upside down over Australia? Because it's not worth shitting on."

"I was once stoned in Memphis And I entered this weird contest where you had to walk on famous Jessicas. I was walking with my feet 10 ft off a Beal."

"I am a big fan of Canadian bacon... ...but I have yet to find out how they turn Americans into cheese."

"Who's this Rorschach dude? And why is he so good at drawing pictures of my mom beating me?"

"Nuts Two peanuts walk into a bar, one of em was a salted!"

"Do you know the difference between a man and a Government Bond? A man matures with time."

"On what day of every week do soft drinks sell the most? thursday"