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Joke of the Day

"Carrot raisin salad. When you want to eat something horrible, 3 times."

"I hate it when homeless people shake their cups of money at me I get it, you have more money than me. No need to rub it in"

"How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: r/AskReddit"

"What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt? ""That's a waist of paper!"""

"Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin."

"Where can you go to send a soul to heaven? An abortion clinic."

"My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again"

"nothing is funny anymore becuase nothing is normal anymore. i saw a pigeon on the subway today and thought ""how did a pigeon make $2.75"""

"If you're gonna by me a drink..... You better at least push my stool in!"

"I love nutella so much I want to marry it and have little nutella babies with it and then eat my whole family with a spoon."