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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when homeless people shake their cups of money at me I get it, you have more money than me. No need to rub it in"

"I'll never reveal my secrets. Alcohol: Lol."

"I'm should probably update everyone who wrote ""Have a great summer!"" in my high school yearbook. It was okay."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist."

"If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at."

"me: wanna hang out? southern girl: well, dip me in honey butter, roll me around in mississippi sand and saddle a junebug to savannah me:"

"How are asymptotes like women? You can get close to it, but you can't touch it"

"What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan"

"Proper punctuation... Proper punctuation is the difference between ""helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse"" and ""helping your uncle jack off a horse"" It's a classic, but a good one"

"What happens when you flip an 8 to it's side? Everything, given enough time"