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Joke of the Day

"Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer."

"What is the name of your friend's advisor? Budweiser"

"I would teach Honey-boo-boo to speak in the third person, just to hear what she'd say if she had a small cut on her arm."

"Is there an easy way to leave a dance circle or do I have to die here?"

"I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis. So far it's got 3 Reichs on Facebook."

"Why do women get yeast infections? So they can know how it feels to live with an irritating cunt!"

"Why is a train a bad person to go to the bar with? Because all he says is ""Chug Chug Chug"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Billy Bragg ! Billy Bragg who ? Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it !"

"How does a flower get pollinated? Beez Nuts!"

"People always ask me why I quit my job as a can crusher... Well it was just soda-pressing!"