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Joke of the Day

"There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect"

"I told someone my name and they said, ""That's unusual. You don't hear that every day."" Actually, I do."

"Why do grandparents have so many clocks? So they won't run out of time"

"About a months ago I started to learn how to speak French. But then I gave up."

"only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds"

"What's pretty and expensive but has no use? Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf."

"Why did the snowman have his pants down? Because he heard the snowblower was coming."

"Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word."

"You would think that, if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster. I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish."

"""You know, the average woman does it at least 8 times a year in her sleep."" -Peter Parker attempting to convince Mary Jane to swallow"