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Joke of the Day

"I hope to die the same way my grandfather died Asleep. Not screaming like everyone else in the car."

"The difference between a comedian and a psycopath is good delivery"

"Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu sir? Monster: No thanks just bring me the passenger list."

"How many gay men can you fit on a bar stool? 4 if you turn it upside down."

"""She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture."" Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend."

"What do you do to an elephant with three balls? Walk him, and pitch to the giraffe!"

"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"

"My reaction when i found out oxygen and magnesium are dating O Mg"

"It's hard explaining puns to kleptomaniacs... ...because they always take things literally."

"What do you call a Warriors fan that complains about the refs? A retarded bandwagoner"