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Joke of the Day

"How many gay men can you fit on a bar stool? 4 if you turn it upside down."

"I saw a smart car get hit with a snow ball today, yep, it was totalled!"

"What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted? Hey we have a toot in common."

"What does a cow say in the winter? I'm udderly freezing!"

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"Got let out of prison today. The warden turned and asked ""can you take any positives from your time in here?"" I smiled ""Yeah actually, the wife can't ever call me a tight arsed bastard again"""

"Nothing's louder than a quiet bathroom."

"I never date left handed women Righty Tighty Lefty Loosey"

"I'd rather someone ask if they can have one of my internal organs than ask if they can borrow my cell phone."

"""Mommy when I grow up, I want to be a shoe"" -straight up killin' it at this parenting thing"