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Joke of the Day

"Son, your mother and I looked at your browser history. Frankly, it's not pretty. Do you for real need a walkthrough for Call Of Duty"

"""YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?"" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your dick into a girls ass."

"I've been waiting for almost half a year to post this this"

"Relevant advice. Remember everyone, if you're attacked by a group of clowns. Go right for the juggler."

"My friend threw a block of cheese at me today....... I said 'that's not very mature'"

"How many communists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right."

"Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose."

"My dream job is to be a mirror cleaner I think I could really see myself doing that. \\_()_/ "

"I just saw a guy with no legs. I told him all about my recent stubbed toe. I hope it made him feel better about the whole no legs thing."