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Joke of the Day

"My dream job is to be a mirror cleaner I think I could really see myself doing that. \\_()_/ "

"Golfer: ""This golf is a funny game."" Caddy: ""It's not supposed to be."""

"Why people use Twitter: because updating 100 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable."

"I'm really good at managing my credit card... ...My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding."

"If I lost a leg in an accident the worst part would be never being able to flush a public toilet again"

"R.I.P boiled water. . . You will be mist."

"""I could probz bench press, like, five of you""-me talking to a cool squirrel I just met"

"What is the difference between a laddie and a lady? One has a d where the other doesn't."

"Saying ""Only in New York"" is just a way for you to cope with watching a bum pee on another bum that is shitting in the subway."

"What would be Jeopardy? If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first."