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Joke of the Day

"Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the kidnapping? But then the kid woke up."
"Son - Dad, you wanted a boy or a girl? Dad - seriously son, i just wanted to fuck."
"What kind of shoes do bears wear? None because they go barefoot."
"So the local Spandex store just closed The local spandex store closed down... ... I guess they couldn't expand"
"What is hard and six inches long? my pen is"
"Never judge a man 'till you've driven a mile with his wife."
"Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat ""so sorry so sorry"" and keep moving forward."
"I laid back last night and admired the sky above me, taking in the beauty of the universe when it hit me... Where the fuck is my roof?"
"Does anyone else's belt turn into a Rubik's cube when they have to piss like a racehorse?"