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Joke of the Day
"""YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?"" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash."
Next Joke
"Mickey Mouse is on trial for the murder of Minnie Mouse The judge asks to clarify, ""The report here says your motive for killing her is for being too silly?"" ""No your honor, she was fucking Goofy"""
"I like my coffee like I like my women Without pubic hair."
"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year and when he does, it's down a chimney."
"A vegetable walks into a bar... Just kidding, he'll never walk again."
"Why did Mrs. Grape leave Mr. Grape? She was tired of raisin kids."
"I need to get a car wash but my dogs' nose smudges on the back window appear to be forming a word so I'm gonna let that play out first."
"""Try again, dumbass"" - the little red line under your misspelled word"
"Why can't Whitney Houston be a pharmacist? She over doses"
"""My mother made me a whore."" To which someone replied: ""If I supply the yarn will she make me one?"" -From *All That You Love Will Be Carried Away*"