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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why people are in awe when I tell them my grandfather survived Auschwitz. Most of the other German officers did too!"

"Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back"

"Wheat derived protein is totally innocuous and not at all evil... ... Hail seitan!"

"I think that an XBox is the closest thing to a ""box"" that most gamers have ever seen. Clever branding Microsoft."

"What's difference between good weed and good pussy? You can smell the weed from across the room."

"What do Santa's little helpers learn in school? The Elfabet!"

"How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes"

"Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix. Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr..."

"My grandfather's dying wish was to be pushed in front of a steam train. When it finally happened, he was chuffed to bits."

"I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed... I guess you could say that I came to a realisation."