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Joke of the Day

"Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix. Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr..."

"What did the spaceman see in his frying pan? An unidentified frying object."

"*checks WebMD* Holy crap, I need an ambulance! *checks insurance deductible* Nevermind, I'll just take a vitamin or something."

"Why are planes strong? Cuz they can lift."

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way... My future's in ruins."

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."

"25 pumpkins only 90's kids could spice"

"What video game does hitler play? Mein craft"

"Van Gogh: ""Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today."" Gauguin: ""Pics, or it didn't happen."" [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]"