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Joke of the Day

"MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism."

"I call my penis Bernie Sanders... ...because it leans far left and stands up for everyone."

"Did you hear about the man who spent his whole life trying to perfect cloning technology? When it finally happened, he was beside himself."

"Why are people who work in IT amazing at relationships and sex? When there is a problem they just turn them off and back on"

"I don't like progeria jokes. They get old fast."

"How many dead hookers in a basement does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than four, because it's still dark as fuck in here."

"I'd probably be broke by now if there was a website where you could pay to flirt with lobsters"

"Anakin: Want to go out? Padme: Ew. You're 9. Anakin: Padme: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same."

"What do you call the ghost of a detective? An inspectre."

"Want to hear a joke about a jump rope? Nah let's just skip it."