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Joke of the Day

"Anakin: Want to go out? Padme: Ew. You're 9. Anakin: Padme: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same."

"18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds."

"Why don't hipsters like fishing? It's too mainstream."

"Ted: ""Dad, why don't I have a middle name?"" Dad: ""Actually son, Ted is your middle name. Your first name is Adop"""

"Dad-Son Dad: There's this test we need to go for. Son: You never told me earlier! I'm going to fail now. Dad: It's a DNA test. You have to pass."

"Where do holy men sleep? Monk beds."

"Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers? they only had one pickup"

"STEWARDESS: omg the plane's about to crash but the SOS message can only be 140 characters! what are we going to do?? ME: *slowly stands up*"

"Jared Fogle is pleased sentence is under 18 years."

"What do you call a group of religious oranges? Jehovah's citruses."