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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a joke about a jump rope? Nah let's just skip it."

"Are cucumbers the only food you can put over your eyes to reduce puffiness because these pizza bagels aren't helping at all."

"The noblest of dogs is the hot-dog... ...it feeds the hand that bites it."

"Some people were offended by Trump's remark that Hillary Clinton was ""schlonged"" by Obama during the 2008 Democratic primary! No this is the Donald's normal everyday shtump speech!"

"What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both NIGGERS!!!"

"GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It's up to you! ANGEL: are you high?"

"It's cute how I ordered 2 drinks and the bartender asked if I wanted to wait for the other person to be seated"

"How to make a girl laugh Step One: ask her out."

"The bartender says: ""I'm sorry, we don't serve faster-than-light particles here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"My friend said his dog could retrieve a stick from 5 miles away. That just seems a little far fetched to me."