154168

Joke of the Day

"I don't like progeria jokes. They get old fast."

"I lied. There was no crime. I just wanted to see how long it would take the police sketch artist to realize I was describing Patrick Swayze."

"My neighbours are very loud when they have sex. And that's bad for my insomnia. Last night I was so fed up I had to scream their safety word."

"Why was the doctor stressed? He was losing his patients"

"As the news breaks of the passing of Michele Ferrero... I can't help but shed a chocolatier."

"Where's the best place to apologise to someone? Surrey."

"Q: What do flies wear on their feet? A: Shoos."

"I got into a fight against three people earlier and managed to knock one out... In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time to masturbate."

"Did you hear about the Italian Chef with terminal cancer? He pastaway."

"Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school? A: They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board."