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Joke of the Day

"My printer has a drug problem And it just can't stop!"

"If I don't get off Reddit, my dad says he will smash my head against the keybosdqAFQ#D!E"

"Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu? Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable."

"Supposedly a banana a day can help prevent colon cancer Doc forgot to mention you're supposed to eat them."

"I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light."

"If a kid refuses to go to sleep during nap time... Is he guilty of resisting a rest?"

"What's the best day of the week to marry your gaming console? Wednesday"

"Trust me, it might sound like a clever idea, but if you're being frisked by a hot TSA agent, do NOT tell her, ""my balls are the bomb."""

"I'm only human. And like all humans, I'm a fucking asshole."

"Today my grandpa told me I couldn't even bait a hook. Well he's never been more wrong. I consider myself a master baiter."