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Joke of the Day

"Today my grandpa told me I couldn't even bait a hook. Well he's never been more wrong. I consider myself a master baiter."

"Finally came up with my new years resolution. I'm going to stop procrastinating!"

"""Honey, I think I lost weight!"" ""Get on the scale, I bet you'll find it."""

"Water Knock Knock Who's there? Water Water Who? Water Those!!!!! (What are those joke)"

"Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift"

"The problem with grammar nazis? They're anti-semantic."

"I'm gonna stay a virgin my entire life I wanna set a good example for my kids!"

"Well Bob, I love to travel, and being my own boss is great. But I suppose my favorite thing about being a serial killer is murdering people."

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."

"Superpower: giving evildoers the hiccups, then on day 23, you throw them off a building but by that point they're just sobbing ""thank you"""