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Joke of the Day

"Why are men sexier than women? Because you can't spell sexy without xy."

"The bartender poured me a scotch and asked me what I thought of it. I told her it was neat."

"For those of you that have been to a casino, whats the difference between Craps and Poker? ..I don't take pokers on your chest!"

"I'm on a version of the Paleo Diet where I eat anything I want knowing that my fossilized remains will be plenty thin in 2.5 million years."

"An infinite number of Sean Murray walks into to a bar and gets a refund."

"I'm doing market research for a telescope manufacturer, I run the focus group."

"Suicide gone wrong [CORNY] -Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers. -Seriously? And what happened? -After the first two, I felt much better."

"You never really know how many inches you're gonna get or how long it'll last. Snow, maybe."

"I like my women exactly how I like my pet. I like both to be horse!"

"If I ever have a son, I'm going to name him Sparta, that way I can introduce him as ""This is SPARTA!!!"""